Student Exchange Programs

I’ve been friends with this girl since the beginning of the school year. She’s an exchange student from switerland so i thought it would be cool to talk and make friends with her. The more i talked to her the more i liked her. She liked a guy for a while so i said nothing but things didnt work out between them so she stopped talking to him. For a while i thought maybe i should just be friends with her since i myself is kinda of a new student ( Been at the school the year before but i came half way through the year) and didnt have alot of friends. We become close telling each other personal stuff and we trust each other. She considers me her best friend ( i guess in america) so we just cool with each other. Then she started dating this guy that i know.

When they first started dating i told her i use to get jealous when she would talk to guys and she told me she felt the same way when i talk to girls. I wasnt to happy that they were going out but its her life and I’m happy for her but every time i saw them cuddling, holding hands, kissing or whatever i would just get pissed off but i didnt want to tell her that because i didnt want her to feel uncomfortable. As hard as i tired to show that i was fine around them she would know when im not ok so she would always ask whats wrong and i would tell her nothing. She says now that she really loves him and he feels the same regardless of how I feel about her I am happy that their together because i cant give her the stuff that her bf can, i wouldnt be able to take her to cool places ( mainly because im broke and i have no car lol) and plus i think im not ready to have a girlfriend because i dont have a job, I dont have the things in life that makes me happy ( I want somethings in life that makes me happy like friends or sports something. I dont want to have a girlfriend to make me happy i want to make me happy because of me) and the mistakes that a boyfriend would make in a relationship i dont want to make with her I want to have some more experience.

But when ever she says hang out with her and her bf and his friends i feel like im there because of her not because the bf wants me there. They are still going out after 3 or 4 mouths and i dont want to hang out with them together anymore because i feel that the bf doesnt want me there and i still have feelings for her so i get upset when i see them kissing or whatever. But what really bothers me is every since they went out we’ve been hanging out less and texting less. I told myself when i first met her that i wont be dependent on her with hanging out or the normal stuff friends do. I told her how i felt and she said sorry and we’ll do more stuff together but now i feel like she’s only going to do it because i told her how i felt. I dont want to look needed to her but at the same time i want things to be how they use to be. Should i stop talking to her until I can find some way to get over her and is it normal to have these feelings.